I Am Enough!

Hello anonymous reader……..it’s been a while since we talked! I have no good excuse. So instead of making one up I’ll just start writing!

I had a great summer of small trips into the city to see a few shows and The Skivvies.  I wrote curriculum and went to places outside my comfort zone! I deepen a few relationships and celebrated a “big” birthday surrounded by beautiful people.

Recently, I started a new part-time job. It’s in the retail world so you can only imagine this time of year!  Well, I can honestly say that it bought me back to traditions.

When you work in retail, you can’t ignore that it’s Christmas! You are surrounded by the sights and sounds.  I felt I always celebrated but on my terms. Since my dad passed away, I have not put up a tree. My trees were not traditional……ranging from pink feathers to a dress form. I was being eclectic.  But I was also pushing away my traditions.

This year was different! Maybe it was the birthday. Or maybe the bombardment of Christmas at the store.  Maybe it was a kindness shown to me from a FB post of a stranger.(more about that later)  But all of a sudden I wanted my tree. My family tree. Up and decorated!

So last Sunday I bought it up from the cellar and put it up! Some lights didn’t work but most did and it stood proudly in the living room once again!

A friend recently said to me that sometimes we need to leave what we have known for a time. We do other things. And then, when we are ready, we return.

Then it hit me! I am enough! I can decorate my space to bring ME joy! I don’t need to do it for anyone but me! I AM ENOUGH!

So dear anonymous reader I wish you also know that truth…….

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Friends 

Recently I had a conversation with a relatively new friend.  She said to me “you spend WAY more time with the people who you work with then I ever could!” I capitalized the letters of way because she really emphasized this word.  It got me thinking about friends.  Is it weird that a lot of my friends come from my work place? 

I always was lucky to have friendships in my life.  Looking back, my friends have been closely related to my interests or where I was in my life.  When I was in school, friends were in my classes or clubs. In college, they came from my lab partners.  When I started working, the jobs I had.   As I changed, friends did too. Some friends I let go of as I got further away from that place in my life. Yet, others remained part of my life and very dear to me! 

I don’t think  it’s that weird, now that I’m at my “forever” job, my friends surround me every day.  My friends are part of the reason I love to go to my job every day.  We laugh, cry, fight and laugh some more! We party, go on trips, celebrate holidays and generally share our life’s moments.  I think it’s only natural the I do things I enjoy with my “work” friends.  I think of them as an extension of my family!

So, anonymous reader, I believe that if you are lucky enough to have friends wherever they come from consider yourself blessed! I know I thank the universe every day for putting the right people in my path! 

Why?

It’s been a while dear anonymous reader. I was emotionally drained every evening last week and could not think to write.  I passed another birthday of my departed dad and I’ve noticed that I tend to retreat a little.  Don’t get me wrong, I went out and had fun a few evenings but I never shared my thoughts.

But I’m thinking tonight of that word “departed” and here I am……writing. I don’t particularly like the word. “Departed”……it sounds weird. Like someone went on a trip and will return. If you believe in an afterlife, you will say the person has started another journey. I know that every creature living has a life cycle. People, plants and animals all have an expiration date. 

My dad used to say at the end that dying was hard. I haven’t thought about his “departing” in a while. It was hard to watch him slip away because he was larger than life. But even he “departed”. 

Tonight, I was sent on an errand to search in the dark for a hat. As I moved towards the front of my yard, iPhone in hand, I saw a small black cat laying face down at the roots of a tree. As I got closer, I noticed that it didn’t run. I realized he was breathing so I went to get my neighbor. 

Now my neighbor is the man who takes in and cares for our wild cat population. He came over and gently pulled him out from the tree roots.   He said that he was already getting stiff and his breathing was swallow. He was “departing”.  As we stood there and  talked,  I noticed the swishing,ever so slight, of a tail.  His little head never looked our way but he could hear our voices. Dying is hard.

Is that what happens? Do we hear a kind voice? I wonder if at that moment as we are hovering between life and death we feel love and does that make the departing easier or harder. 

I like to believe that the journey begins knowing that you are “leaving” loved. That someone will miss you, that you mattered, that someone will talk about you with love. I read somewhere that someone dies only when the last person who knew them dies. That we live on in memories. I like that thought! Especially, dear anonymous reader, tonight!

Artichokes!?!

OMG! What should I write about tonight? I know vegetables! 

Well…..you might think…. big stretch!!! Layered vegetables will lead to how life is layered as well. 

Nah………..

I am just saying I tried something that I hadn’t had before, and I liked it! I’m going to keep that up both in eating and life!

Are you surprised, dear anonymous reader, I’m not going to write what we already ALL know already! I’m just going to remind myself to remember the artichoke!!!! 

The Skivvies make me smile!

There are many times when I come home from a Skivvies show and I am I awe!  First, my friendship with my talented friends has me often wonder how these things happened to a girl from Jersey!  That is something to ponder for another blog post!!! 

The talent that I am privileged to witness blows me away! These 2 individuals are so accomplished. They make what they do seem easy! They sing, play too many instruments to mention and banter in a timed dance of comedy.  

I have shared my love for this remarkable duo with many friends over the past few years. All have become fans which also makes me smile!!! 

Tonight though I learned how performers sometimes have rug taken out from under their feet.  30 minutes to show time, the skivvies were told the rules they needed to follow to adhere to campus regulations.  What to do? You do it! Did that particular audience know anything was changed? No! The audience had a fun, fabulous time and never missed what wasn’t performed. Why? Because the performers didn’t dwell on the negative.

Lesson learned! Let go of negativity and things that could bring us down! Focus on putting best foot forward and positivity!

So dear anonymous reader, positivity keeps the journey fun even when negative situations arise!

  
 

What happened to the week?

Today is April 1st.  A day that we call April Fools Day. I was so glad to not be in school today because I hate feeling the pressure to be funny! I can’t be funny on command! 

Anywho……I woke up this morning in a “blue” sort of mood.  Couldn’t really shake the feeling that something was wrong. Nothing was mind you except that today was officially the last school day of break.  I don’t count weekends of breaks because everyone is off and it’s not special! 

I did nothing exciting over break! I got the car inspected, cut the grass, laundry, and some shopping…….nothing to write in a blog! Lol! 

Anyway, I decided, around 2:30 to do something! So I went to take a walk at a park. I went there earlier this week with a friend for the first time. It was fun and I figured it would make me feel that I didn’t waste the last free day.

As I was walking the same path I had taken a few days ago with my friend, it occurred to me that I never saw anything I was looking at today.  It freaked me out! I panicked that I was not on the right path, I was going to get lost, I would never be seen again.  I got hold of myself because I could see the barn where I parked, many people were walking the path with babies and doggies and I was listening to my music on my phone!!! Nothing bad was going to happen. 

All of a sudden, I realized something. You can walk a path and see something different each time.  You just need to keep moving forward when things get scary, wait for the next turn or your favorite song to come on your playlist and your attitude changes! 

I need to remember this, dear anonymous reader, to help me get through those “blue” moments and DANCE!!!!

What is persistence?

Persistence is a word that many people use to describe a person who won’t give up. Sometimes the person is thought of as a hero. Sometimes a fool.   But usually it’s a story that is told to clarify a situation. 

I think of myself as a very persistent person.  Sometimes it’s just my stubborn Italian/Irish background that won’t let me give up.  Like today, when I couldn’t get into my garage because of a power issue. I kept trying different avenues until finally the garage door opened and I could cut my lawn! But sometimes my persistent nature is the voice in my head telling me to prove it to the world. 

Now before you get nervous, hear me out.  The voice in my head is usually the voice of my Dad! When he was alive, we would butt heads on many things. Politics, religion, love, life……everything was fair game! He was always pushing me to defend my position. It was infuriating! 

Many times we wouldn’t speak for days after an argument.  But as I grow older, for better or worse, he is the voice in my head pushing me to do better! I know now that he was teaching me a lesson. My voice mattered! My thoughts mattered! My reasoning mattered! That last sentence being the most important. The reasons behind persistence is what matters. What are thoughts if they are empty and can’t be defended by you the believer? You are just a “talking head” devoid of thoughtful opinions. 

So, dear anonymous reader, be PERSISTENT! You may get your lawn cut. But even better, you may find out that you are living with a purpose!

What am I doing here?

Here I am!  I don’t know what I’m doing at all!  But my friend has encouraged me to start a blog. She has been wanting me to write for a long time.  This month she took up a challenge to write a blog herself.  She has enjoyed it and now has turned me lose on this internet world.  She thinks I should start a blog because I love:

friends

family

Broadway shows

cabaret shows

The Skivvies(the duo group not to be confused with skivvies you wear…but I like them too)

music

movies

teaching

social media

taking pictures

fun times

my kitty cat, Booba

HGTV

Big Bang Theory(the TV series not the evolutionary term)

history

cooking

chocolate

decorating

travel

beach walks

sparkle moments

shopping

BRIGHTON (the store not the beach or the one in England)

driving

but most of all I LOVE

NEW YORK CITY!!!!

Some days will be exciting!  Some days not so much.  I guess you could say “just like life”! I am finally writing about things I love to discuss with friends. You know what they say “you never know unless you give it go!”  So here I am “giving it a go”!  And maybe, just maybe, dear anonymous reader, you may like it too!